My favorite quotes and sayings

New Regulations in the UTAH Division of Motor Vehicle's 2008 Handbook:
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident UTAH Driver
avoids using them.
2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between
you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by
somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have
of getting hit.
4. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one
expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
Especially with California, Nevada or Arizona plates. With no insurance,
the other operator probably has nothing to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that
your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal
violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to
strengthen your leg muscles.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good
way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and
are not enforceable in UTAH during rush hour.
9 Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or
move over doesn't mean that a California driver flashing his high beams
behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
10 Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim
11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. UTAH is the home of
high-speed slalom-driving thanks to the Department of Transportation,
which puts construction in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and
keep them alert.
12. It is tradition in UTAH to honk your horn at cars in front of you
that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.
13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is
important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right away. Wearing
your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.
14. Remember that the goal of every UTAH driver is to get ahead of the
pack by whatever means necessary.
15. In UTAH, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute. This
gesture should always be returned.
Thank You, The UTAH Motor Vehicles Commission